Are you totally smitten by a woman’s smile and feel rather astonished and even embarrassed the first time your eyes meet? Perhaps you’ve spent time at work day-dreaming and wondering after your initial eye contact, you will ever meet again the woman who sat next to you at the cafeteria where you spent your coffee break yesterday. Or maybe you are completely bewitched by a person’s sweet gestures – deep inside you quite possibly feel that you are potentially a nuisance to such an individual at your first glance? Whether you are excellent or terrible at making first impressions, first looks will almost always affect your perceptions over the long-term with either potential or actual future relationships.
Like a popular melody that has been sung a thousand times, the well known phrase “first impressions last” is a common statement uttered throughout the ages. You may utter this phrase regarding acquaintances, friends and mates. More often than not, you are able to tally up a person’s entire personality at first glance and by simply observing them the first time you meet them at parties, in your workplace, and other social or work related occasions. Even in a short period of time during first encounters, you will form judgments about a person based on his appearance, gestures, behavior, and body language. Once you’ve met a person and possibly gathered bad feelings about him or her in the initial meeting, negative impressions will be imprinted on your mind very strongly, and most likely return each time you see that individual; this perception many times may be nearly impossible to reverse or undo.
First impressions are more than important in creating bonds and in reaching out to people. Most of the time, the first impression you present to people is often your best weapon in either attracting them or scaring them off. First impressions, either good or bad usually set the tone for the relationship that follows.
How to Create Good First Impression?
As each of us has our own standards of what impresses us, a good first impression differs in many ways as related to the individual perspective from one person to another. It is important to understand that you simply can’t please everybody. This means that even if you generate good first impressions among a select group, others might still feel negative about you. Well, this is something that a so-called “perfect formula” can’t really control. However, while it’s true that you can’t please everyone, it is also true that you can improve your formula to make you appear less annoying to the rest of the crowd.
Though being sweet and nice naturally attracts people, some might misunderstand your sweetness as something over done or excessive. Different people have varying interpretations about you – your looks, your words, your approaches and your actions.
The one thing you can do something about is your dress, grooming and style. Does your appearance signifies the real you? Or it is just a non-authentic representation of whom you want to be? Well, how can you leave good, lasting impressions if what people see during your first encounter is a representation of an entirely different person?
How will you be able to impress people? As human beings, we are all born with an innate desire to please others, to make pleasing first impressions, and to attract people. Our inherent nature causes us all to search for significance and acceptance in other people’s eyes.
Whether it is for your career or social life, the key to making a good first impression is to present “you” authentically and appropriately. Initially, since a complete stranger does not have the slightest idea of who “you” are, the way you dress and present yourself gives them a first-hand clue as to the kind of person they are dealing with. A nice, appropriate “you” appearance in dress and grooming is your most controllable, first-line ability for you to generate good impressions amongst new introductions and the opposite sex. It will allow for the most natural connection with those you meet.
In order to know that you are on the right track of making good impressions, start with your dress and put on your best look that works for “you.” People with well-toned personal appearance tactics know how to show-off and when to show-off the best part of their dressing ability. If you lack the ability as to what to wear, what color or styles looks best for your skin type, then you might want to spend some time in fashion and style magazines.
Sit for while and ask yourself – am I wearing the right dress for the right occasion? Naturally, you don’t expect a business woman to wear tight fitting jeans or shorts to a high-stakes, corporate meeting nor would you expect a gentleman to wear a tux to a picnic. While these are extreme examples, many individuals do not appropriately dress for a broad range of occasions – you will be surprised how you can fine-tune your dress to a wide variety of situations.
Good grooming and dressing appropriately for the occasion is quite easy to achieve with a little practice and some help from a few magazines and fashion-conscious friends. But aside from your physical appearance, you should also consider other factors and be aware to your actions, approaches and the words that you use.
Whether or not you made-good on the dressing and grooming stage of making a high-quality first impression, remember to always maintain intimacy with the individual. Connect; look for opportunities to start an in-depth conversation with that someone you are trying to impress. We all desire to be connected and to be understood. Honest, empathetic communication often causes intimate connection with a newly introduced human being and helps in discerning a person’s likes and dislikes.
If you don’t initially get the chance of direct one-on-one conversation with the person of interest, then become an active part of a group conversation and let them know that their presence is important to you by obtaining their attention within the group. The best face to wear to capture a man or woman’s attention is always a smile. Do you believe that a woman’s smile is enough to melt a man’s heart? A warm and confident smile might even return a smile in like-kind and bring back the warmth of a heart that was otherwise hardened by pain and sad experience. A smile should always be authentic and not fake; think of some positive attribute of the person or something you like about them; perhaps their own smile, personality, sense of humor or appearance. Your smile will be more natural and inviting.
Though wearing a smile can be an effective means of capturing someone’s attention, it is also important to keep a conversation entertaining, fun and away from the boring side. Men should put on their best, good-natured funny-side; many women are attracted to a guy who knows how to make them laugh and someone who has a good sense of humor. If you are rather stoic, then try entering the lighter side of life, buy a few joke books, watch standup comics for material. Be willing to make light of yourself in some self-deprecating way; we all need to take life less seriously. This light-hearted attitude adds to the sense that you are fun to be around and feel comfortable in your own skin. While entertaining humor, don’t forget common courtesy, you can also obtain extra points from a woman by showing your gentlemanliness, thoughtfulness, and your respectfulness. Let your actions speak for your thoughts, but try not to be pretentious.
As for women, you should take note that men are difficult to tame. But once they are into you, they will many times attempt to bring down heaven and calm the seas for you. Men are naturally full of surprises just like women. But very seldom do they want to be dictated by a woman’s superiority. If you are trying to win a man’s attention try to be natural and don’t be too bold. Wear that magnificent smile and sweet little gesture of yours and for sure, at the end of the day he’ll be impressed by it.
Body language and attitude also play into making either a good or bad first impression. Like everyone else on earth, you might feel a little bit nervous when meeting someone for the first time. Relax! Take a deep breath and talk to yourself in front of the mirror and utter some words of compliment regarding your positive attributes. Just as in a job interview, the people you will be meeting definitely have expectations from you. But you should never let those expectations stop you from showing what you’ve got. Be confident, be you, and do not let them know how nervous you are. Shake hands and offer some act of courtesy. Your attitude also often provides great help in gaining people’s attention. It is necessary that when meeting people, you must project a positive outlook in life. Who would be impressed by someone who only talks about life’s regrets and frustrations? No one! Remember, positive attitudes beget positive responses. So if you are out there trying to make good first impressions, try to fit in and project a positive attitude even in the midst of criticism.
In closing, human beings are quick to assess an individual’s character. You only have seconds to make a good impression the first time you meet a new individual. If you want to be successful in life, whether in business, friendship or in love, you will need to make good first impressions. While some of this may seem manipulative by design, it is worth noting that life is a learning process, and those who are most successful at life are those who are willing to put in the time and effort to gain knowledge and wisdom into each aspect of life. While it is important not to ever mislead someone about your true nature, it simply is good prudence to put some effort into developing your best nature. Then, if you happen to have a spell of luck along with a developed character, then good first impressions can bloom into something special such as a forever friendship or even lasting love. For both men and women, it is entirely possible to create a good impression without detaching from your own individuality. So why not try your best shot the moment when that someone lays eyes on you for the first time?